I was invited to a home sales party,
"Come if you can, will you please?
No pressure to buy, just enjoy yourself
Relax and take your ease."
I enjoyed myself and took my ease,
No pressure to buy, just a good sales patter,
"If Sue can get a few more points,
She will win this lovely platter."

We enjoyed ourselves a little bit more
The hostess became more hearty,
"Sue will win this lovely mirror
If we can book just one more party."
As she continued on her winning way,
My conscience pricked at me,
I had enjoyed Sue's lovely supper
And her great hospitality.

So, 1 booked a party and made a list
Of neighbours and friends to invite
"No pressure to buy, just be sure to come
And have an enjoyable night."
"Just a simple supper." the hostess said,
"Take no trouble, whatever you do."
But the last thing I wanted, I knew in my heart
Was to be outdone by Sue.

All things ready, a knock at the door,
"Welcome, you are the first to come."
Much later on, I realised,
She was to be the only one.
The hostess said, "Please don't worry.
The party can still take place,
We will go through the usual routine."
As she ignored my redness of face.

"To begin, a gift for the first to arrive,
A gift for the very first guest!
Betty, you are the lucky one
Let's see who will win the rest."
We waited, then, with bated breath
For the winner of the lucky door prize,
To find once again it was Betty,
Came to us as no great surprise.

We 'had lots of fun and laughed a lot,
And though the hostess remained-quite hearty,
Somehow or other, she didn't succeed
In booking another party.
What of the friends who let me down
And stayed away from the party?
Maybe they remembered other times
When the hostess was just too hearty.