Published in Memories and Other Verses, June 1991.


I am just too, too fat,
My friend is too, too slight.
Added together, divided by two,
our figures would be just rightl

She eats fresh scones, jam and cream,
Pork chops and greasy mutton.
I eat sparingly of slimming foods
And still look like a glutton!

I had given up hope of losing weight
The problem seemed beyond beating
But I have found the right approach,
I must learn to live without eating.